5. How did BDD effect the people around you e.g. Family, friends, etc?

It was extremely difficult for those around me, any friend that I had knew that if I was having a "bad day" they would end up sitting outside my bedroom, talking to me through the door, needless to say my friendships didn't last long, I ended up very lonely, I hated being so self obsessed, I never judge anyone so I hated being so concerned about what others thought of me!
One day my brothers realized just how serous things where when they hid all my make up and hair dryer from me, they kept denying they hid it!, But being older than me they hated me wearing so much make up, and this was before I was diagnosed with BDD so they where simply trying to help.
I had an absolute fit, ending in me punching a glass cabinet, breaking through the glass and cutting my hands to bits.

The BDD also caused a lot of arguments amongst the family, I left school at 14 after Fay died, and Mum didn't push me into going back out of fear of what I would do to myself if she added anymore additional pressure to me, she knew I was grieving so it was partly to be expected.
As time went on my Dad and Brothers wanted me to go back to leading a "normal" life and felt Mum was making things worse by allowing me to hide in my bedroom, so at times I would lie in my bed upstairs hearing everyone shouting downstairs about the best way to help me, which made me feel even worse for adding all this stress into my family.

When I was ill I spent most of my time in bed, I was hardly eating so I had a huge lack of energy, and when I was asleep I felt happy, I would dream of Fay, and being with her, but I also had more bizarre dreams about sitting in McDonalds eating a feast!, And when id wake up I would feel as though I had eaten loads, when in reality I lived on Rice Cakes, and Microwave meals.

Even today living with my boyfriend can prove to be difficult, I am never going to be completely "normal" but I have learnt to be happy and lead a fulfilled life, for example some days I don't mind him looking at me in the morning, but other times when I am having a "bad" day I shout "don't look at me" and I cant have him around me when I get ready, Getting ready is a very sensitive time for me even now, infact the irony is these days I feel most at ease without make up and in my pajamas!.
The anxiety occasional still comes back to haunt me whenever I have to get dressed up for an event, but having said that it never stops me from attending, so as far as I am concerned I am as recovered as I could ever have wished to be, as I am just grateful that I now have the strength to face the world no matter what!.